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Coping Strategies: Hide It, Turn It Off, Disengage

It’s safe to say the election has been rough on all of us. I’ve heard many people express how sick and tired they are of the media, hatred, division, and vitriol and I totally agree. It has been mentally and emotionally exhausting. It has put pressure on relationships to the point that even some long and cherished friendships have ended. It’s forced us to talk about controversial topics while confronting words and actions that violate our moral conscience. To say it’s been uncomfortable would be an understatement.

Many people have been looking for ways to cope. Some coping strategies are more individualized than others. I’ve heard of everything from play-doh parties to hiking. But self care is all about you. We can do so much more when we aren’t mentally or emotionally drained so do what you have to do to stay sane.

One common coping mechanism has been to unplug either from the news or from social media entirely. On the road to disengagement, many have decided to ignore all things political. They’ve changed the channel, hidden posts from their social media feeds, or chosen to unfollow/unfriend those who share political content. This is a valid option. While I have yet to confirm this information, I even read that a recent study observed reduced stress levels in people who quit Facebook. It’s a tempting option. But before you decide to call it quits, it may be worthwhile to evaluate both the benefits and consequences of this decision. Let me make it explicitly clear that I do not intend to tell anyone what to do. I simply want to offer up some thoughts for discussion and consideration.

Disengagement from controversial issues is definitely a prerogative of every individual. But in addition to being a right, it’s a privilege available only to those who are not directly involved in some capacity. All people have control over their level of social media/news engagement. But for many, no matter how unplugged they decide to be, the issues themselves don’t disappear. The ability to get away from the topics that cause discomfort, stress, or even anxiety is not an option for those who’s lives and choices are up for debate in the public sphere. They LIVE controversial issues every single day.

I’m talking about immigrants (both documented and undocumented), religious minorities (Muslims), racial minorities, and the LGBTQIA+ community, among others. Imagine how it feels for something so connected to your personal identity to be discussed ad nauseam everywhere you turn. They can hide things from their news feeds and ignore the TVs, but that doesn’t change the fact that, as a minority, their lives are being debated and judged by people all over the country every moment of every day. From snarky memes, to sassy blog posts and click bait news articles, the commentary never ends. I wish that were an exaggeration, but the topics of this election cycle have left no stone un-turned when it comes to social issues.

Not only are lives and/or choices up for debate on the internet and cable TV, but minorities have to face the possibility of personal confrontation constantly. Sometimes that confrontation threatens to become or does become violent. As a result, fear is very real for many right now. The fear minorities feel is not an over reaction or made up by the “liberal media.” It’s reality. And it’s not something they will ever have the choice to turn off or avoid, [apart from disappearing to live on a deserted island – count me in!].

It may seem like disengagement would do minorities a favor. If we all stop talking about it, the debates will end and peace will return to our lives. But there are two methods to peace – avoidance and confrontation. The first only offers an illusion of peace. I think that’s why so many, including myself, were shocked by the election results. Rather than openly confronting oppression and championing the rights of minorities, I let myself remain naive to the ongoing discrimination that permeates our society. Avoidance results in being uniformed and blind to what’s actually around us. Rather than making progress, we lose progress. On the journey to peace, only confrontation results in actual change. Confrontation doesn’t have to be rude or offensive. It’s just the opposite of avoidance. By being well-informed, engaging with those who are different from us, and then sharing our experiences and what we’ve learned with those around us, we confront harmful ideologies that threaten the safety and freedom of our neighbors and friends.

So here’s the deal: before you decide that you’ve had enough and you’d rather just be done with politics and controversy altogether, consider your neighbors and friends who are relentlessly challenged regardless of whether or not they chose to unplug. Maybe you still feel like time away is what’s right for you. If that’s what you need, I encourage you to take those steps. But please, don’t stay away for too long. I need you! Your family and neighbors need you! Our nation needs you! The world needs you!

In the coming months, I’m going to be posting some stories of my minority friends. They are beautiful people who have been willing to share their lives with me. I believe in the positive changes that can result from connecting with people outside of our normal sphere. I hope you’ll read their stories and be open to learning about their lives. Thank you reading.


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